Over the years we have met a number of couples struggling in their marriages. In almost all situations we saw a common trend. There are three or four very important things there were not functioning properly or even totally missing in their marriages. Surprisingly these few simple things if included will get rid of more than 80% of marriage difficulties.
You do not need rocket science to have good marriage because marriage was designed by God to be simple. There are simple building blocks that can produce massive awesome results. These things are the basic building blocks for a happy, healthy and everlasting Christian marriage.
It takes at least two people to fight. If one quits, the fight dies. It takes you to fight with your spouse. So, it is you who can stop the fight.
Many couples are looking into complicated studies and have read many good books and articles with lots of theories and tricks on marriage. Yes, you can have the tricks but if they do not sit on a solid foundation, that marriage will fly out the window. When the storms of life come it will not stand. The foundation that God intended is made up of simple building blocks, not rocket science. You see, God designed these basic things for everyone and they are simple.
Perhaps it’s true that 20% effort produces 80% results. However couples tend to stumble through stuff looking of things that make up this 20%. They end up putting 80% effort but still get 20% results.
At this point you want me to get straight into these few basic marriage building blocks that can make a huge difference in your marriage, don’t you? Not so fast. First we want to get things straight so that we know how we got where we are.
The state of your marriage is made worse if the people advising you are battling to find these basic building blocks. At times you get into marriage to your loved one coming from, either parents with a dysfunctional marriage, or from a single parent. Honestly you have never stayed in a home with a happily married couple, let alone a happily married Christian couple. Hence you have a book theory of a good Christian marriage which in most cases turns out to be a personal fantasy. Your expectations are not real. You expect your spouse or marriage to be like the one you see in the movies. When it does not reach that standard you get heart broken. The couples we see in movies are professional actors. The directors create the scenes so as to capture our emotions. By the way the actors are not even married.
Marriage is like a garden that needs constant attention.
If you are coming from a family with a happy Christian couple, at least you do not have book theory. You have some practical theory that was tested and worked on someone else. Now, remember it is still just theory, not your practical experience. You have an idea how things work but you have never worked them yourself. And mind you, your spouse may not be coming from a family with such a privilege . Your spouse may be coming from a family where there are no functional marriages. What do you do?
Marriage is like a garden that needs constant attention. You have to take out the weeds, plant new plants, water correctly and take good care of it. If you neglect it, without anyone’s effort, it will naturally degenerate into an ugly eyesore. The same with marriage, do not wait until things are hopeless, otherwise you will have to do tough laborious work of restoration. This takes more effort and time than simply doing daily maintenance. Just do small acts of maintenance daily and you will be alright. These small acts of upkeep surprisingly are the basic building blocks for a good marriage, and many are missing them.
What are these small things? Please join me next chapter where I will divulge the single most important act you can do to take away most of your marriage problems, and perhaps all of them. There is one thing that can change the performance of you marriage as you know it. Who knows you could be having a new marriage in seven days.
As you contemplate;
- ‘Your perception on marriage is based on your past experience about it.’ To what extend do you agree with this statement?
- What are the key factors for the success of your marriage up to today?
This is the end of the Second Episode of the Marriage Journals. The series continues in the Third Episode titled You Could Be Having A New Marriage In Seven Days.
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